Monday, 10 November 2008


Hanging all the way up here, I can get the impression of being in charge. I see why they built them so big, it's to make them feel small. I think they like to feel small, those parishoners, flock, sheep, whatevers. They all come here to feel a little bit smaller, and I guess in turn they feel better because that makes their problems smaller too.
Me, I'm fixing the cement between the arch stones.
If they cared about this place proper, and not profits, they'd have given me enough money to get the job done so it would last a thousand years, not just twenty to a hundred. Knowing that they're skimping makes me feel less bad about skimping too. The grout I'm using isn't really meant for this, but it's the same colour and should hold until I'm well gone. I wonder how many of the original builders were unbelievers? Were they also paid this badly? I wonder if they skimped too? Hmm, what exactly is holding me up?

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