Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Not the first

Turns out that we weren't the first to figure out evolution. We weren't even the first on this planet. The dinosaurs came back, they were a lot smaller than we have fossil records for, but after hearing all about how they dug up their own ancestors to prove evolution to their own faithful, we now see how we're not going to be leaving much for whatever comes next. A lot of people thought that the aliens were from outer space, couldn't blame them. How were we to know that they were earthlings coming back. Once we did get communication working, it got depressing. Our scientists had been searching for life for hundreds of years on different planets and solar systems. The report coming from our ancestor race was that we had no neighbours. They had been searching all through our galaxy for millions of years without any trace of life. They did tell us off for damaging the planet again though. At least this time they had a solution.

Thursday, 20 November 2008

And end to things.

And so I stand here, hands on the edge of the bridge. The sun is going down. The cold water below. Chilled breeze runs over me, makes me shiver. I feel calm. It's like a release. Why didn't I do it sooner? She's been a part of my life so long, I just never thought I could do it. I never thought it would be so easy either. Hah! I hadn't really thought about it at all. But there it was, the moment, the chance, and after taking it, I now have something to look forward to. I guess I've never been happy. Never been fully satisfied. My love life was holding me back. I guess I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I know that wasn't true. I think it was all fake. And now, having known her for years, I have kissed my childhood friend. Why didn't I see it sooner? Have I always loved her? How long has she waited for me? How many girls did she watch me with? I'm sorry.

Monday, 17 November 2008

Rapture


Some called it the rapture, but the idea of divinity being behind it was absurd to us so it was used as a joke. There was a natural explanation for it, we found it, it wasn't too hard. The fact that it attacked the pious ones gave us a hint. You see, there's this gland at the base of your brain, and those that had a strong one, one that gave them their epiphanic moments, suffered the worst. The initial swelling was just in the head, then the whole body. The gases built up and sometimes they would pop. It was disgusting. I'm just glad that none of my family had it. My whole family, because it's genetic. I suppose we were all lucky in that way, most of us just lost friends, but not family. The orphans however, there's the question. None of the kids got it. They just didn't. Gland or no gland, religion or not. So we ask ourselves now, after ten years of peace, no wars, no intolerance, no weapons of mass destruction, after all the good that has happened: can we let them live?

Monday, 10 November 2008

Grout

Hanging all the way up here, I can get the impression of being in charge. I see why they built them so big, it's to make them feel small. I think they like to feel small, those parishoners, flock, sheep, whatevers. They all come here to feel a little bit smaller, and I guess in turn they feel better because that makes their problems smaller too.
Me, I'm fixing the cement between the arch stones.
If they cared about this place proper, and not profits, they'd have given me enough money to get the job done so it would last a thousand years, not just twenty to a hundred. Knowing that they're skimping makes me feel less bad about skimping too. The grout I'm using isn't really meant for this, but it's the same colour and should hold until I'm well gone. I wonder how many of the original builders were unbelievers? Were they also paid this badly? I wonder if they skimped too? Hmm, what exactly is holding me up?

Friday, 24 October 2008

More problems


I know I'm not in the right position to have an opinion about this kind of thing, but as far as I can see, giving them their freedom will only cause the same kind of problems we saw with the United States back in 2000 odd. We need to keep the central government unified across all the planets, and any one planet, even Mars, going solo, is going to hurt the overall economy. I've heard all sorts of lies about how we will be able to have better trade agreements, but really all I can see is the great depressions happening again and again. We escaped all that, why go back? I know it's been a long time, but humans haven't evolved a better common sense have they!

Monday, 20 October 2008

Punishment.

You've had that feeling, that desire to do it anyway. The button was stuck in the off position with tape, and had the word "no" written on it. I mean, it was a rental accomodation, so if it all went wrong at least it wasn't my house. But the worry about what could happen, something unknown. I was warned. I was stupid. I flicked the switch. Nothing appeared to happen, so I flicked it back off again. I put the sticky tape back on it and left it alone for a day. Then a week. Then month. Then the electric bill came. I don't think I can afford to be curious again.

Defender


Being the last defender of the ark of the covenant is a tireless job. There were more of us a long time ago, but some were killed in direct attack, others accidentally. We've not been seen in a thousand years, not because we're good at hiding, but the magic. If it weren't for the magic, then our choice of hiding place would have been very bad. We chose to hide the ark on a little island on a different continent. The island had no worthwhile natural resources, so we thought that it would be overlooked by everyone, but we were wrong. The last defender to die, died of a car accident, so I have decided to not leave the ark for one moment, not even to eat, in case some new dealer of death decides to take me and in turn reveal the secrets to the Manhattan Island populace.

Responsibility


One good thing about being a super hero is the mask. Even those who know you just can't see beyond it. I saw her again today. She was my first love. Too young I was. She, and her child, on the bus hanging over the cliff. She wasn't the only one, but she is the only one I remember. I saved them, that's what a super hero does. She didn't know who I was, she even smiled at me. She adored me, the super hero. She wouldn't smile if she knew it was me: she's going back to her single parent life, now that I saved it. I have responsibility as a super hero, I can't be a father too. It's too much to ask. I don't love her any more, but sometimes the guilt causes me to pause and think about giving it all up.

Parallels

I used to think he hated me, but now I see that he feared me. The job is hard; I see that now. If only he hadn't treated me like that, maybe I wouldn't have taken my anger out on him. Interruptions, that's how I did it. I kept at him, badgered him, made him irritable, made him mad. In the end, I think he might have been pleased to be away from it all. His position was hopeless. He wasn't paranoid, I really was making sure everyone was out to get him. To stall him. To make him late.

He's gone, but he's left his mark. I now fear that I am become him. They're not my slaves, they don't have to work for me, just like I didn't have to work for him. Do they fear me? Will they destroy me the same way I caused despair in him? Do I fear them? I never felt so alone. Did he ever feel alone?It's so quiet now. When he was alone, in the quiet, did he get as nervous as I am now?

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Realise


I've been watching him. He seems okay; does his gardening like he used to, but I caught him sitting there watching tv the other day and saw a tear form in one eye. I don't think he saw me, otherwise I guess he'd have made up some excuse, but I think he's finally realising that she's gone.
It's imperceptable, minute, and fractional differences, but they're the clues that he's been made incomplete by her death. He tries to act stubborn as usual, but there's give. I think he's dying.

Sharing

They said I should share, I had to share, but I proved them wrong. I've got all of them now. Now they are no more. Now I defeated them. Now I have their rotting corpses watch me as I dance over them!

I shall share with no-one!

Does that count as sharing? Am I now just sharing with everyone left? Oh no!

Preparation


I used to get nervous, wondering if they would suddenly bolt, but as the years passed I got to know which ones needed restraining. I dressed them and tended them each and every one. The little darlings had no idea, and that's how it had to be. You see, like veal, children's meat doesn't taste nearly as good to my master if it's been panicked. Sometimes, one panics so much that I have to stew it instead. Which is unfortunate, because they go ever so peacefully with the powders. I think the hot water of the stew hurts them. They only get louder. I did think they were singing at first, but a kitchen hand told me otherwise. I think I'd rather not have known. It does distress me somewhat.

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

What doesn't kill you


I like to think of myself as a kind of doctor. I'm a preventative medicine technician. I'm a technician because I employ technical methods to ensure prevention of illness. My latest work has been quite taxing. I've always followed the news, and the recent outbreak in Africa scared me a little, I wanted to do something about it. I've been to most parts of Africa and the deadline is getting near. The trick to preventative medicine, in my opinion, is to make sure you have full coverage of your problem source. A surviving, mutating virus is much more deadly than one that's just bumbling along. I set the timer for august the 8th, making sure I had enough time to cover all of the water sources. Now the last one is almost set up and tomorrow the timers will all click over. I also think of it as being good for the planet. I made sure the poisons didn't affect anything other than humans, so my animal rights brothers won't be dissappointed. I don't think anyone else has ever been a eco-friendly economic and medical hero.

Sun burn


They say that if you were to use the old sun-protection-factor ratings, you'd have to print it on bigger bottles, but to be honest, I don't see the point of it. We're not designed to be out in the sun. Some people think we're still human, but I've seen the pictures of what we looked like before, and that's not what we are now. Historians beleive that we thought that we would only have to stay underground for a thousand years, but the old humans must have known how bad it was going to get, it was obvious. I will admit there is a reason to be above ground, flying is very useful for trade. Why the old earth men thought it was enjoyable to just fly is beyond me though. It's no different than walking along one of the unfinished tunnels. The endless brown earth is simply boring.

Spooky

The lights went out and I heard a scream. It was loud and close by. I strained to see in the dark; I couldn't make out more than a murky silhouette. Then I heard giggling. I guess tonight is going to be good.

Thursday, 2 October 2008

No fatalities.

It was cold and wet, and very annoying. You see, my foot was trapped. I'd have cut it off if I could. When I bought my immortality, I never expected to end up spending years in a cave. The starvation pains went away after a while, or at least I didn't feel them anymore. That was the first few months. The next year the rains came and the cave was flooded. I couldn't smell the air for two months. Drowning was painful, gets on your lungs, makes them feel like stone. But at least I had something to drink, so my throat didn't hurt so much at that point. When the water's receeded it felt quite nice to be able to shout for help again. In fact it was only about a week after that, that the rescue team found me. I'm not going pot-holing again. Well, not for a few decades anyway.

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Ever met one?


I just need something, one small thing, something to build upon. There's nothing though. Some people feel trapped inside their bodies, others trapped in their situation, but that's just it, I'm not. I'm trapped outside the traps. I want to have something to say something about, but I can't because my life, me, myself, all those around me, we're all so damned normal, happy, complete, content. I can't even get angry at that. I think I'll start a band.

Long gone.

I went back to my old house, had a look. I cought sight of the wooden seat that used to be part of my swing as a child, the same one my kids used. Without thinking, I just walked over and took it, left, didn't look back. If there was anyone about, they might have thought I was stealing, but I wasn't, it was mine. I couldn't look back, there was no other memories I wanted. I think the fire took everything else.

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Don't blame the tools


We all need to rethink our goals. We all think we know what it is that we want, but most of us never really find it. I mean take me, I sit down and work on perfecting my tools, but with what aim? I'm always after that perfection, but it's not until I'm using them that I see it.
That's the difference, right there, the moment where it could stick. I mean, it just slipped out, and that's important, but when I'm sharpening the blade I think more about how precise the angle is. It's not until I use it that i think about how easy it is to stab someone with a properly finished edge.

Mud pies

I feel so heavy, so stuck to this planet like it holds onto me and won't let go. I push and can't even float up like I want to. That's what it's been like; so heavy and harsh. The ground feels gritty and cold now. I can look at the sky and it just looks empty. The clouds are just some overachieving water. That's what everything is like now. I make tiny salty mud pies because of you.

Hold on.

She won't be pleased. No matter what I say, nothing's going to be as good as if I'd held on tight enough. There's a horrible doom in watching it fade slowly, float away never to be recaptured. I haven't got any more money either, so I can't buy another one.

Monday, 29 September 2008

Unreal


We all thought it was an advertising campaign. There was screaming, but we thought they were actors. They can't blame us for acting the way we did. I heard that someone didn't believe until he was actually being eaten. We realised that the monsters were real eventually. It was half an hour at most. I'll miss Kelly, but at least I shot dead the monster that ate her.

Never again a non-smoker.

After having used it on and off for years, I don't bother any more. Being invisible just isn't as useful as people think it is. There's no love in the girls showers, no point in having the stolen money if I haven't earnt it. I've been happier since I gave it up, but I worry about it. It's like being an ex-smoker, you can't ever be the same again. Sometimes the temptation is still there, like at my son's Birthday parties, but I know it's a slippery slope.

Break the ice

I can see the look on his face. He wants to leave already. He's only just got here. I want to go over to him and say "get some guts, get up and dance", but I know he'll hate me for that. He'll deny he wants to go, then moments late he'll be gone. I know that feeling, it's like the moments before you let go and jump off the cliff. The anticipation, the build up, it's worse than the pain itself. I can't talk to him. I can't do it either. I guess we both have our limits.

Obvious

It wasn't like we didn't see it coming, we did, but we didn't know what it was. We watched so closely that we didn't notice. You say we should have known, but if you were on the inside, would you have been able to tell? We always thought we had it under control.

I remember them telling us about boiling a frog.

Alone

Sometimes it comes on suddenly and I have to stop what I'm talking about because I suddenly feel very alone. I can be in a room full of people, their wordy opinions flying around, and it'll hit me that there's probably no-one else here that has killed someone on purpose. I'm sad that there aren't more like me. I think people would calm down a little quicker.

she won't come back

"She's not here, she's in his bed."
"She's left you, you know."
"Not yet, I can be more, I can be enough for her. She loves me you know?"
"You can't be enough, give it up. Let's go out. Let's clear her out of your system."
"I don't want to. I need to call her. She needs me."
"You don't, she doesn't need you, not you or any other woman. She's straight and you'll just have to admit it."

forced hands.

"By fighting me, you may not only lose the battle, but at lest you have already lost the respect of those that were undecided."
"You need to be destroyed. How could I not tackle you?"
"Indeed, that is how I had planned it. I just thought I might warn you against a phyrric victory."

Man made mountain.

The skulls were hidden under only a shallow layer of earth. As we looked up to the top of the hill we realised that millions had died to construct this monument.